Oh my little boy……….

About a year ago we were referred to a specialist for something our pediatrician noticed with Bryce. We saw the specialist and decided to wait to see if time corrected things. By January the Doctor recommended surgery and after attempting to talk us out of it, postponing once, praying that everything would suddenly fix itself the day, TODAY,  finally came to have the surgery and fix a few things. I had reluctantly made the appointment a few months ago. I knew it was coming. I just wished it didn’t need to come. It isn’t that I felt he would die. I just truly abhor seeing the kids in pain and terrified. Bryce was a trooper. Mommy at any moment was ready to open the flood gates and burst into uncontrollable tears, but encouraged by our two year old I held back every time I felt my eyes well up. Mary and Tyler were in town visiting this week and offered to help us by spending the night and taking care of Ethan and Hope while Jared and I woke Bryce up and went the Hospital at 5:45am. We waited. Filled out papers. Waited. Bryce asked, “Mommy, where are we going?” “Mommy, what are we doing here?” I just kissed his little forehead and said we needed to see the Doctor. We were called back to take vitals and do surgery prep. We met with nurses and waited. We met with the Anesthesiologist and waited. We met with the specialist/surgeon and waited. When the nurse said they were looking for the wagon to put him in I secretly felt a tinge of relief to hold him just two more minutes. I just didn’t want him to feel abandoned because I couldn’t be with him the whole time. After all that waiting the wagon appeared and I felt suddenly willing to do more waiting. We placed him in the wagon with blankets gently placed on top. I kissed his head and told him he was such a big boy and we watched him disappear. I took a mental tape recording of him in that wagon, and it chokes me inside to recall the scene. I wished I could find a closet, scoop him up and hide. But I had resolved that this had to happen and I just had to suck it up, as my sister Heidi likes to say. We walked back to the waiting room. Jared kept looking at me and smiling. He thinks I lack faith. I just lack the ability to watch a child….anyone’s child suffer. We waited and waited some more. Lucky for us the Royal wedding is tomorrow and there is a lot of news coverage to watch on TV. I don’t know what other surgeries were happening for the other family members in the room but everyone’s surgery seemed to go quickly but ours. 7:45am. 8:30am. 9:15am. We were called to the front. Perhaps the surgery is over I thought! The news was that it was taking longer then expected, only halfway through, but it was going well. We waited, waited, and waited. People who had arrived after us were taking their surgery patients home.  By 10:30 I was fidgety and beginning to wring my hands. A check with the front desk staff yielded the information that he was still in surgery for another 20 minutes or so. Three hours of surgery and the Doctor emerged with a smile. I smiled. She said it went “textbook perfect”. There were a few issues inside to fix that were time consuming but it was perfectly successful. We still couldn’t see him but this was great news! Almost surprisingly we were sent back to the waiting room for more………drumroll please…..waiting! Finally he was wheeled into recovery and awake. When our eyes met he started to whimper. I couldn’t hold back a few tears seeing him with cords, taping, and sutures. How did I ever think I could be in the medical profession!?!? We told him what a big boy he had been and through his whimpers he chokingly whispered “yah”. I gave him a scratch and calmed him down. He drank some water and quickly dozed back into sleep.  The nurse said he was the star patient. He is home now, confined to his back and in pain to sit up and unable to yet stand. He’ll be moving around soon, but needs a few weeks to fully recover. Bless his little heart. How grateful I am to all the family members who put his name in at the temple and added him to their prayers. I can’t help but feel the spirit to think of our family all kneeling in prayer in their respective homes and loving Bryce enough to add him to their prayers. As if I could reach out and touch it I have felt the spirit so strongly from our loved ones faith and prayers. There is no greater blessing on Earth than to have a loving family. As for Bryce now……we will give prayers of Gratitude, and as for recovery….it’ll come soon….probably with some more waiting. 

Bryce pre-surgery.

Bryce post-surgery.